heyya..
blogging again. oh yes, blogging..? i hardly blog. but then, im too bored. so, hehe.
so... woke up arnd 7.40.. switch on my phone, n i got a msg from nina.. she said, she's at school already.. heh. so baik lah u, nina. pergi awal2 summore. so 'skema'.. since wen lah? :P okay, dats good anyway. so, after i took my shower, i went to school. i was looking for pn ananthi, takde. looking for nina, takde. looking for en azmir, takde. aiyo~ so, i decided to walk arnd n suddenly en azmir appeared from no where, waving at me. haha. dats my teacher~ :P
so, we went to bilik disiplin. talking n talking. oh yea :P u know wat he said, 'pengetua kata, ketua pengawas kena jadi lebih strict. so that pengawas2 sume akan jadi strict' wah... finally. wanna know y? i actually realised that too. its a bit too late for me to change everything this year. so, i suppose next year will be more 'fun'. so, better be prepared everyone :P oh yes.. im not kidding. serious.
went back arnd 10.30 coz my dad n i had to go to see my bro at his uni. went out for lunch with him at putrajaya.. im so full. so, at arnd 3.30, i went to khairul's hse. hehe. i dun wanna come at first, really.. coz i thought i'll get bored. sigh. well, i enjoyed myself tho. didnt eat much. of coz :P too full. cannot go in anymore~
so, we were talking n talking. hurm. we had a 'real' conversation. i mean, a serious one. well, this would be our second time, after he knew everything. i dunno wat to say lah. i dunno wats my feeling towards him. is it over or not? sigh. well, now, he knows the truth n i know everything. finally. yup. he has feeling towards me.. now, maybe. its just dat, he sort of 'tak berani' he said, i deserve to get a better man. sigh. to him, im too perfect for him but he is not perfect for me. love is blind, huh? according to him, his mom likes me. heh.. the whole family likes me. hehe.
we've been so close.. we gonna miss our 'frenship' for years, u know. i waited. really. but now, i should just forget everything. he has a special person in his life now. no longer me.. well, eventually, it was my fault too. i left without telling him. i know it hurts. but, i have to. dat time was soo, urgh, i cant. but, i did not regret it tho. hurm. to be honest, i dun really trust him 100%. no longer. i shall not talk bout that.
well, my feelings will tell me everything. i really dunno. i think, the best way is just, to go on. i will never forget 'everything'. the memories we had together. ah.. even, he said that. oh yea. he remembered everything. really. even wen he touched my hands. sigh. he understands me very well. he knows that i have to 'jaga' my reputation. he knows that, i have to be fair to everyone. thx for understanding, sweetheart. really. i really appreciate it. but now, i feel like we wouldnt be more than frens coz i think my feelings towards him, is no longer to him.
he said, we've been so close till hes afraid, we will not talk to each other anymore. i hope it wont happen. but uh, wat he said was true. its my fault. we've been avoiding each other. not really avoiding. but, we hardly talk! well, u can blame me for that. im too busy. really. so sorry.. well, i really need someone to support me in everything. i know, deep inside ur heart, u dont want me to become a prefect n not even head prefect. but, sume dah ditentukan. wat can i do? i love wat im doing rite now. n i did not regret it.
"i will never say no, but im afraid to say yes" dats wat he said. n dats wat im gonna say too. so, both of us will just be.. like that. i hope it will end. but who knows, rite? wats gonna happen next? God knows.
in anything i do, i will never regret. yes. im trying my best to change him to a better person. unfortunately, i think its gonna end.. in a good way. we can still be good frens but to be more than that, im sorry, i cant. i
dont know. eventhough ur mom doesnt like her, but uh, buktikan. i know ur mom will be happy.
well, i will never think bout this again till i get my 10A1. i dun wanna regret. never regret it.
wah wah wah.. dis is sooo long.. hehe. dats all. tata~
RuS
6:53 pm
